i booked a ticket for coastal croatia at the end of august. i really shouldn't have but couldn't be happier that i did. its keeping me sane while keeping my chin up.

paulgeorge! comes to grace this city with his lovely face in less than a weeks time. he’s looking forward to galavanting my streets with me and staying up past our bed time; all the while dancing like children and drinking like sailors. we’re hoping to fit in a jaunt or two while he is here. and maybe apply something permanent to our skins.

my best friend here is a man from france i fell for briefly; i expressed how i was feeling and there upon was told i was fat, and accordingly rejected.

consequently, as aforementioned, we’re best friends, i dare say sibling status, and spend copious amounts of time together while coaching one another in trials of our pasts, passions, love, women, men, cooking, eating, sex, thinking, speaking, feeling, and more often than not, bizarre concurrent situations (does that work grammatically?) where more than one of the previously mentioned themes are happening simultaneously.

it’s unconventional. (surprise.) but it works. and, believe it or not, i think we’re actually helping one another. and if not, we’re definitely filling some kind of void in one another’s lives.

the terrible bar job consists mainly of drunken irishmen, englishmen, aussies and americans. the other 40% tend to be the same but giggling, H&M skirt clad young ladies, pouring in and out in mass quantities two times per evening via pub-crawl. the drunken englishmen are the worst. i often have to bat their grubby paws from my ‘posterior’ while pairing unimaginable obscenities to make clear the point that my ass is not a play ground... this is uncommonly common and completely acceptable in my place of work. (both the grabbing and the response.)

we, the pub crawl guides and bar tenders, enthusiastically hate our jobs and speak over it often. but most of ‘us’ have been on the job for years with no current plans of leaving. with, hopefully, the exception of myself. it does nothing for me and until i find something else that pays the rent, i’m out.

my cooking is improving.

so is my german.

i dont have a washing machine: that really sucks.

i have a second job in a cafe. i really like my co-workers and the area its in. i can see myself there much longer. but it’s a bit intimidating. and really don’t wish to speak on it much more until i’m more confident of my feelings towards it.

music is at a stand still and for no reason. perhaps because of the recent influx of visitors and the lack of response from certain people... but none the less. it’s at a pause.

i think after paulgeorge leaves and my brief holiday in croatia is over, i will have quite a bit more alone time. plus, by then i will have figured out my work schedule. blah blah. sometimes the nonchalant-ness of berlin really takes you over. which has its many colorful advantages and disadvantages.

has there yet been a moment out of transition?

oh, i certainly hope not.

t.