living in the red/on the red.

well. i don't know.
yesterday i did my finances. or figured out where i stand financially. or however you say that, and well. i think my leetle red finance book there says it all.
i'm so in debt that...well...it doesnt matter.
i can't actually afford to go home if i needed to and i don't have a credit card.

i hate this feeling. i'm not used to not having financial control over my life.

i had a job and lost it. i had another job and lost that.
and i was never paid for any days that i worked at those jobs.
in cafes here, you typically are not paid for your first three days.
i didnt really know that.
oh well.

uhm, so. yeah. i think i just need a good old fashion kick in the ass.
if anyone cares to give me a call and yell at me, i think i'd really appreciate and need that right about now. remind me what i'm doing. or...whatever.

but, in better news, i am starting (finally.) language school next week on monday. i had to go on a wait list because they have small classes (which i actually appreciate, so it was worth the wait).

hopefully i will meet some good peeps and it will also give me something to occupy my afternoons.

so, yay! i'm also looking into starting university here in the fall.

but---yeah. living in da poor house is awkward and a bit shameful. but here i am:

living in the red. and living off red wine to try and pretend i'm not.

all the red. all the time.
(minus communism.)

t.